The Gift Of Time Apart


This year for Christmas, my ladyfriend and I gave each other the gift of time apart. Me to work on my writing and she to travel with her two young daughters. Now before you ask what kinda new s@#t is this, quite frankly, I've never been too keen on celebrating the Holiday season and would rather spend it alone.

For me, this time of year is marred with memories of tragedy and death, not that I'm all chest out scrooge about it, it's just sometimes it's hard to hide what resides behind the eyes when being around others. People either want to over compensate with affection and sympathy (which is jive like annoying) or demand the drowning of sorrows in some V.S.O.P. or Bacardi.

A lot of people would advocate for the argument that being with loved ones, especially during this time of year is the cure to what ails. Some would go as far as to say it's even a bit selfish to be away from those one claims to love during this time of year.

Is there some truth to that? 

Maybe. 

Personally, I think it's even more selfish not to be honest with yourself and those you claim to love. How many people will sit at dinner tables or family functions out of shear obligation, knowing in their heart of hearts they would rather be alone or someplace else? 

Too many.

Thankfully I have a friend that allows me the space to reflect and meditate. This is one of the reasons why our relationship works. 

Time apart in my opinion, is an essential element in any relationship. It's cool to want to share any and everything with a partner, but sometimes being apart helps strengthen the ties that bind.

While we give ourselves permission to be silly around one another, speak on topics that others may find blasphemous and generally enjoy each others company, she overstands my need for self reliance and allows for this occasional time apart.

Is she always cool with it? 

No, but she knows as a writer to be, it's part of who I am and respects it. Besides, we don't wait for the Holiday season to give ourselves the gift of one another's presence.


Sundial

3 comments:

So...

...this is my first official posting here at the new digs. 

I christened this space Cracks In The Obsidian because when this volcanic glass is fractured or broken, the pieces that come from it can be fashioned into a blade sharper than steel (a perfect metaphor for my splintered thoughts when I put them to use). Plus, I thought it was a jive like cool sounding name. 

With my first blog, I strictly posted poetry and did so sporadically. Not because I didn't have the time to write, I didn't make the time. I claimed writing was my passion, yet I let it wane. Was it boredom? Was it life getting in the way? Was it writer's block?

Nope.

I was my lack of motivation and dedication to writing that caused my lull. There is a quote by Émile Zola which states The artist is nothing without the gift but the gift is nothing without work.  

Truer words were never written. 

Malcolm Gladwell knows the deal as well...he's the guy that wrote Outliers: The Story Of Success, a book that examines what makes high achievers and successful folk different from everyone else.  

Wanna know the secret he found

That there is no secret.

Hard work, determination and PRACTICE...lots of PRACTICE was the common theme running through most of their stories and in a nutshell that's what I want this blog to be about...the practice of writing. Not when the moment hits me or when I feel inspired

Sylvia Plath knew everything in life is writable about if you have the outgoing guts to do it.

Hopefully with my new found intestinal fortitude, I'll have the courage to leave my comfortable assgroove of existence and get to the business of writing.

We shall see...ONE::
Stamp

3 comments:

Test

Sun


I was using this space as testing for my template. Now that I'm done, I can start blogging.

0 comments:

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