The Gift Of Time Apart

This year for Christmas, my ladyfriend and I gave each other the gift of time apart. Me to work on my writing and she to travel with her two young daughters. Now before you ask what kinda new s@#t is this, quite frankly, I've never been too keen on celebrating the Holiday season and would rather spend it alone.

For me, this time of year is marred with memories of tragedy and death, not that I'm all chest out scrooge about it, it's just sometimes it's hard to hide what resides behind the eyes when being around others. People either want to over compensate with affection and sympathy (which is jive like annoying) or demand the drowning of sorrows in some V.S.O.P. or Bacardi.

A lot of people would advocate for the argument that being with loved ones, especially during this time of year is the cure to what ails. Some would go as far as to say it's even a bit selfish to be away from those one claims to love during this time of year.

Is there some truth to that? 


Personally, I think it's even more selfish not to be honest with yourself and those you claim to love. How many people will sit at dinner tables or family functions out of shear obligation, knowing in their heart of hearts they would rather be alone or someplace else? 

Too many.

Thankfully I have a friend that allows me the space to reflect and meditate. This is one of the reasons why our relationship works. 

Time apart in my opinion, is an essential element in any relationship. It's cool to want to share any and everything with a partner, but sometimes being apart helps strengthen the ties that bind.

While we give ourselves permission to be silly around one another, speak on topics that others may find blasphemous and generally enjoy each others company, she overstands my need for self reliance and allows for this occasional time apart.

Is she always cool with it? 

No, but she knows as a writer to be, it's part of who I am and respects it. Besides, we don't wait for the Holiday season to give ourselves the gift of one another's presence.



  1. This hits close to home for me. It's hard to find someone especially a significant other to understand my need for space. Often times my writing is viewed as a combatant for my affection. It's beautiful that you've found someone who gets it. Can't wait to read your thoughts on this new blog :-)

  2. Appreciate you stopping by...yeah it does make a big difference when you have someone who can comprehend the need for space...ONE::